Blogging While Paused

where video game characters speak out

portrait
Posted by Captain_Falcon On January - 4 - 2007 2 Comments

Man, I am fast. You think you’re fast? You think beating Twilight Princess in under 30 hours is fast? Well I so totally have you beat! I am the king of fast. I am so fast it’s not even funny. That’s right, I am faster the humor!!!!

I’m just whippin’ around corners, yippee! How many people do you know, that can start out the race in 20th place and be in 1st by the end of lap one? Yeah, that’s me. Did you see my last race? Did ya? Did ya? It was amazing, if I do say so myself. I am sweet. That’s all I gotta say.

The best racing game on the planet is F-Zero, and there ain’t no buts about that. You think Mario Kart is a racing game? Think again. It puts me to sleep. It’s kinda like all these new “action” movies that are coming out. They are far to slow. They take like a whole half second to change camera angles, it’s awful. I’m sitting there in the movie theater going… “Okay… can they change the camera angle yet? Anytime now…” and then finally, I have to wait another second or half a second and the camera angle changes.

I am like, the fastest game character in the world. It rocks. Some people think Sonic, is fast, but I am so much faster then Sonic. Granted, I must say that Sonic has a cool “blue and red” color theme going for him, (my personal favorite) but you put the two of us on a track, and… well… the only conclusion is that I would win. That’s all there is too it. Why? Because I am fast!

Yeah, so the last race was rockin’ good fun. This next race is going to be awesome too. As soon as I get unpaused… …Which is… like… TAKING FOREVER… sheesh… it’s been a whole two minutes… come on, come on, come on, come on!!!! Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!

Hey, Gotta Race! Laters!

Categories: Acclaim