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Posted by Mario On January - 20 - 2008 Comments Off

I… am… so… OLD!!! Look at me, I fought Cranky Kong when he was DK’s age. And he’s like 65 years older than DK or something. I had to be in my mid 30’s back then. Do da stinking math. I must be 100 years old!!!!!

This can’t be true!  Sure the entire world says I’m old, but come on! I can jump 25 ft in the air on a triple jump. I run faster than most other people. I lift hammers made out of pure carbonized anodized steel. I’ve lifted a dragon by the tail and chucked him 1,000ft into oblivion. I am considered an Olympic athlete in skill. I play a ton of sports. I Party like crazy. I may not be the youngest, most spry guy around, but PLEASE, 100 YEARS OLD!?!?!?

This is crazy. Madness. I am only 76 years old, not 117, not 120, and not 6,000! I will now call my lawyer, and he will set you all straight.

AND I’M NOT 100!!!

Categories: Complaint

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