Blogging While Paused

where video game characters speak out

Archive for January, 2008

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Me for Mayor! (Or Governor. Or President. Or Emperor.)

Posted by DrWright On January - 24 - 2008 Comments Off

You know what is really, really stupid. That I’m not mayor. I’ve be giving advice to a lot of horrible mayors for 35 years now, and I could do better than any one of them. I mean, I know all there is to know about the people in the city. I could talk for hours and hours about crime, pollution, fire, earthquakes, floods and what-not. But for some reason, I just can’t get elected. Maybe it’s the 44 hour speech seminars that I hold all the time in my campaigns for mayor. Yep, they must be a key factor in my loosing. I’ll go for 88 hour seminars next time. Or could it be… I’m not popular. Let’s see here: Bad hair style, goofy colored hair, ugly tie, lame suit, enormous nose, crappy mustache, wide and misplaced ears,  beedy little eyes, bottle neck glasses… and I’m short. Not 5’7’’ short,  [ Read More ]

Categories: Complaint, Opinion
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Advice / Pollution

Posted by DrWright On January - 20 - 2008 Comments Off

The pollution has gotten out of hand. Eventually the land value will drop and the crime rate will rise. To prevent this, why don’t you spread out your Industrial zones and keep them away from the Airport.

Categories: News
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Far too old

Posted by Mario On January - 20 - 2008 Comments Off

I… am… so… OLD!!! Look at me, I fought Cranky Kong when he was DK’s age. And he’s like 65 years older than DK or something. I had to be in my mid 30’s back then. Do da stinking math. I must be 100 years old!!!!! This can’t be true!  Sure the entire world says I’m old, but come on! I can jump 25 ft in the air on a triple jump. I run faster than most other people. I lift hammers made out of pure carbonized anodized steel. I’ve lifted a dragon by the tail and chucked him 1,000ft into oblivion. I am considered an Olympic athlete in skill. I play a ton of sports. I Party like crazy. I may not be the youngest, most spry guy around, but PLEASE, 100 YEARS OLD!?!?!? This is crazy. Madness. I am only 76 years old, not 117, not 120, and  [ Read More ]

Categories: Complaint
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Stuck in a Castle

Posted by Luigi On January - 19 - 2008 Comments Off

Hey, Mario! You’ll never guess what happened while you were out at the market this morning! Or were you jogging? Ah, I can’t remember. Anyway, while you were gone, a letter arrived from the Princess that said she’d been kidnapped by Bowser! Well, since you weren’t around, I figured it was up to me to face Bowser at his castle and bring the Princess home safely. You should’ve seen the fight we had! There were fireballs and hammers flying every which way! Well, after some time, I came up with this brilliant plan. See, we were fighting on a bridge over a pool of lava, and I noticed next to the ropes supporting it, there was a fine looking axe. It was just sittin’ there, totally unguarded! So, watching Bowser’s movements carefully, I managed to distract him, then jump over him, grab the axe, and cut that rope! The bridge  [ Read More ]

Categories: Chronicles
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Suspicious Racer

Posted by Captain_Falcon On January - 16 - 2008 Comments Off

Well, I’ve been a racer for quite a long time now, and I’ve seen my share of suspicious racers. A lot of them come out as clearly evil or just plain nuts, but there’s one guy who I just can’t shake this uneasy feeling about. He’s a fella who calls himself James McCloud. Now at first I wasn’t sure what might be wrong with this guy. I never saw him without sunglasses, but that’s not too unusual. Still, I didn’t want to take my eyes off him. Then, at about the time I was ready to give up on finding out anything about him, who do I see for the first time? Who is it that dresses the same way he does? It’s a kid by the name of Fox McCloud. Now, don’t think I thought it was him on sight. After all, James is a human, and Fox is,  [ Read More ]

Categories: Opinion
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Under-developed? As if!

Posted by Waluigi On January - 14 - 2008 Comments Off

This is an outrage! I looked at the Smash Bros blog a while ago, and you know what I found out? I’m not in the starting line-up. I’m not a secret character. I am an assist trophy. Now at first this wasn’t all that terrible. At least they took the time to draw me with all that detail. They even got my good side. But you know what really did me in? Guess what I saw when I checked it two days ago? They added Pikmin & Olimar to the starting cast! I mean, seriously! This is unbelievable! Did you read what he said about the Pikmin? Oh, yeah, and try this one on. You got a quarter? Go get a quarter. Hold it up. That’s how tall the space captain is. And the Pikmin are smaller. Come on! This guy has appeared twice since 2001, and I’ve been going  [ Read More ]

Categories: Complaint
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On the Course

Posted by Bowser On January - 12 - 2008 Comments Off

So I was out golfing the other day and apparently people are saying that my whole “Kidnap the Princess” gig is getting old. It’s not fun anymore, it’s not funny. It’s not politically correct. I don’t know. I don’t know if I trust Donkey Kong and Yoshi as great sources, but every now and then they get something right. To be honest, I love the gig. I think it’s freaking hilarious to see the look on Mario’s face when he realizes… “oh not again.” I mean, my timing is perfect. It’s just like the punch line of a joke. Just when he’s about to go spend some quality time with Peach, BAM! I’m there, and I make him jump through somewhere between 38 and 120 hoops before he can see her. I also love the Toadstools.  They rush around like caffeinated chickens with their heads cut off. It’s really funny.  [ Read More ]

Categories: Opinion
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Who’s Smarter than a 5th Grader?

Posted by CaptainOlimar On January - 10 - 2008 Comments Off

Living with Pikmin is a love-hate relationship. The little critters are cute, completely adorable. They are also extremely helpful when trying to accomplish various tasks, such as carrying things. Sadly, they are dumber then a bag of sand. However, one can only assume that they have the intelligence of a vegetable when you realize you have to pluck the things out of the ground before they can do anything and after you pluck them out they proceed to bash their heads against every solid object in sight. It’s no surprise that they all have applesauce for brains. When scrounging around for pellets of compressed dehydrated Pikmin, or whatever they are, one might hope that the Pikmin would have a certain affinity or attraction to pellets of their own color. You know, the blue ones pick up the blue pellet and the red ones theirs, etc. This is sadly, never the  [ Read More ]

Categories: Complaint
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Shipwreck!

Posted by DrWright On January - 9 - 2008 Comments Off

Abandon Ship! A ship has crashed somewhere! Let’s find out what happened and repair any damage it may have caused.

Categories: News
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The Blubbening

Posted by Francis On January - 4 - 2008 Comments Off

Geeklog Date: 11.26 Mood: Ranty The sun is bright outside so I’m going to stay in and watch “The Blubbening.” Season One has better writing and voice acting than the later seasons. I mean COME ON. Everything went totally downhill after the big dream sequence. Still, the animation in the scenes where Tubba Blubba battles robots is schweet. Season Three was obviously just a vehicle for selling action figures and vehicles. I never understood why they changed the sound effect when the princess appears. It was “Deet-dinga-deet-ling!” then suddenly it was “Dinga-deet-dinga-ling!” As if no one would notice! Pffft! True fans care about important stuff like that. They should totally run the show without commercials and let fans suggest story lines! That’s what the fans want and we’re the only ones that matter. I guess I’ll still buy “The Blubbening” box set. The preorder bonus is a costume! While I  [ Read More ]

Categories: Complaint