Blogging While Paused

where video game characters speak out

Archive for February, 2011

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Bowser Eats Pie

Posted by Bowser On February - 23 - 2011 Comments Off

That’s right. I eat pie. I love pie. I just can’t get enough pie. I’m a pie snob. A connoisseur of pastries. (You don’t become the King of the Koopa’s by eating salads and munching lettuce.) Now, I have some of the best pie and pastry cooks hidden away in my various castles. At least, that’s why I try to keep them. Until someone gets it in his mind that he wants some cake. (I won’t make a cake joke here, but I know you’re thinking it.) A good Peach pie is much better than one of her cakes. When you’re king, you really get a taste for food. You know what’s good and what’s not. You get treated to the finest dining in the whole created universe. A low brow plumber doesn’t know a thing about food, and if all he is craving is a little of Peach’s cake,  [ Read More ]

Categories: Complaint
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Internal Issues

Posted by DrWright On February - 16 - 2011 Comments Off

I’m sorry to say there isn’t much going on here today. It seems a number of internal issues have been slowing things down. Namely, your beloved site runners have scheduled some sort of showdown, and many posters here are too excited about it to talk about anything that’s actually interesting. Meanwhile, there’s chaos on the back end of things as Russian spy robots are attempting to overthrow order and take everything that isn’t nailed down. (It wouldn’t be such a difficult thing to deal with if they weren’t so good at blending into a crowd… But those eye lasers of theirs are quite nasty.) At any rate, things should be more or less back in order this time next week. You would have my apologies, but I’m still trying to discern the robots from the rest of you. Hm… Maybe I should put out a bounty…

Categories: News
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The True Champion

Posted by Anonymous On February - 9 - 2011 Comments Off

There will be brawl, Fighting a battle on Final Destination, Powerful heroes and ferocious demons, Creatures of various backgrounds, Characters never forgotten. Friend and Foe Fighting in the advancing dusk. Rapid arrows hover above, And Damaged opponents transform into Fallen trophies. Forever the brawl continues, Unaware of the fallen and hurt, Unaware of losing their lives. Unaware of fighting an evil monster, Who would soon become a friend. Unaware of losing to a ally, Who will become your foe. Unaware of becoming champions, They struggle to survive. Through day and night, Dusk ’till dawn, Sunny or cloudy, Rain or hail, The brawl continues. But no matter how long a fight, How deadly a battle, How horrifying the circumstances, There is only one champion. The true champion… Is the player that can control it.

Categories: Acclaim
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Ripoff!

Posted by Wario On February - 2 - 2011 Comments Off

Earlier this week, I decided to rent Super Paper Mario. I just wanted to see what the hubbub was about, I didn’t intend to get all the way through it. The game turned out to be a lot shorter than I expected, though. It looked like it had a lot of back-story. (Well, a lot for a Mario game, anyway.) It took about 5 minutes before I got control of anything; everything before that was setting up the plot. That’s what I thought, anyway. The first control I got was a guy asking me if I wanted to save the world. I just chose the natural choice. “Of course not! I don’t wanna!” What happens next? It’s the end of the game. I’m told the world will be destroyed, and I see “Game Over” on my screen. I paid five dollars to rent this?! And there are people who pay  [ Read More ]

Categories: Opinion