Blogging While Paused

where video game characters speak out


Of Hammers and Stuff

Posted by KingDedede On March - 23 - 2011 2 Comments

Okay, now some people (who will remain nameless, Meta Knight) have been asking me why I use such an ‘impractical’, ‘dishonorable’ and ‘clunky’ weapon as a hammer. And why I don’t use a more ‘honorable’ and ‘king-like’ weapon such as, say, a sword. Listen. I’m the king. I’m not going to let whats-his-face-orn or whosit-idas tell me how to be a king. A king that lets someone tell him what to do ain’t a king, he’s just some idiot with a crown! No! I’m a king, a true ruler. And I wanted to forge my own legacy, and I chose the hammer to do that with for a good couple reasons. First of all, those little hammer things that judges use? Gravels? No, gales? No… okay, gavels! That’s what they’re called. Anyways, those things, when they come on down on the little wood thingy (I’m not up to looking that  [ Read More ]



Posted by Sonic On March - 16 - 2011 Comments Off

Crud! I am sooooooo MAD! I can’t stop thinking about that stupid New Pork City fight! I can’t figure it out! Things were going so well at first! I mean, sure, Ness had the upper hand for a while, and there was that Deku Nut incident, but we got that turned around pretty fast. Kirby got off his Final Smash, and we planned it out, so I was able to dodge that no problem. Actually, I kind of suggested that as a ploy. I wanted the food that I knew would come from it to recover from everything that happened so far. That way I’d be able to finish Kirby in short order. I lost sight of him after that, but I had something else on my mind. I’d wanted to use a Pokeball before (when I wound up with a Deku Nut instead), and I still wanted to break  [ Read More ]


Okay, I guess I deserved that…

Posted by Ness On March - 9 - 2011 3 Comments

That fight at New Pork City was quite a fiasco. I was doing great for the first part of it! I managed a hit with a full-power PK Flash, recovered a bunch of damage thanks to a Fire Flower I saw coming, and got a Final Smash in! I even managed to grab a Pokéball from behind Sonic’s back. He thought he had it, but he grabbed a Deku Nut instead. He was pretty close to Kirby when he threw, so they were both left reeling, and I just couldn’t stop myself from laughing. But that was probably a mistake on my part. I was getting some pretty fierce looks from both of them after that, and before I knew it, they were ganging up on me. I’ve… never had a real appreciation for how fast Sonic is until that moment in time. I mean, he doesn’t really have any  [ Read More ]


Didn’t See That Coming…

Posted by Kirby On March - 2 - 2011 Comments Off

Boy, today was not what I expected to happen. I was fighting in New Pork City against Sonic and Ness, and I kept on getting K.Oed most of the time. A funny part about it is that Sonic threw a Deku Nut at me, but he said that he thought it was the Pokeball that he was about to throw. He probably forgot to check, since the items in Brawl appear randomly at the wrong time. Ness started to laugh at us for our mistakes that we caused. Sonic and I both got mad, and he let me use my Final Smash to knock Ness out, and help ourselves with the food coming out of the pot. While I wasn’t looking, however, a weird monster with the yellow birdie on top tried to attack me. I had to dodge very wildly, not knowing the right way to dodge. I tried  [ Read More ]


Bowser Eats Pie

Posted by Bowser On February - 23 - 2011 Comments Off

That’s right. I eat pie. I love pie. I just can’t get enough pie. I’m a pie snob. A connoisseur of pastries. (You don’t become the King of the Koopa’s by eating salads and munching lettuce.) Now, I have some of the best pie and pastry cooks hidden away in my various castles. At least, that’s why I try to keep them. Until someone gets it in his mind that he wants some cake. (I won’t make a cake joke here, but I know you’re thinking it.) A good Peach pie is much better than one of her cakes. When you’re king, you really get a taste for food. You know what’s good and what’s not. You get treated to the finest dining in the whole created universe. A low brow plumber doesn’t know a thing about food, and if all he is craving is a little of Peach’s cake,  [ Read More ]


Internal Issues

Posted by DrWright On February - 16 - 2011 Comments Off

I’m sorry to say there isn’t much going on here today. It seems a number of internal issues have been slowing things down. Namely, your beloved site runners have scheduled some sort of showdown, and many posters here are too excited about it to talk about anything that’s actually interesting. Meanwhile, there’s chaos on the back end of things as Russian spy robots are attempting to overthrow order and take everything that isn’t nailed down. (It wouldn’t be such a difficult thing to deal with if they weren’t so good at blending into a crowd… But those eye lasers of theirs are quite nasty.) At any rate, things should be more or less back in order this time next week. You would have my apologies, but I’m still trying to discern the robots from the rest of you. Hm… Maybe I should put out a bounty…


The True Champion

Posted by Anonymous On February - 9 - 2011 Comments Off

There will be brawl, Fighting a battle on Final Destination, Powerful heroes and ferocious demons, Creatures of various backgrounds, Characters never forgotten. Friend and Foe Fighting in the advancing dusk. Rapid arrows hover above, And Damaged opponents transform into Fallen trophies. Forever the brawl continues, Unaware of the fallen and hurt, Unaware of losing their lives. Unaware of fighting an evil monster, Who would soon become a friend. Unaware of losing to a ally, Who will become your foe. Unaware of becoming champions, They struggle to survive. Through day and night, Dusk ’till dawn, Sunny or cloudy, Rain or hail, The brawl continues. But no matter how long a fight, How deadly a battle, How horrifying the circumstances, There is only one champion. The true champion… Is the player that can control it.



Posted by Wario On February - 2 - 2011 Comments Off

Earlier this week, I decided to rent Super Paper Mario. I just wanted to see what the hubbub was about, I didn’t intend to get all the way through it. The game turned out to be a lot shorter than I expected, though. It looked like it had a lot of back-story. (Well, a lot for a Mario game, anyway.) It took about 5 minutes before I got control of anything; everything before that was setting up the plot. That’s what I thought, anyway. The first control I got was a guy asking me if I wanted to save the world. I just chose the natural choice. “Of course not! I don’t wanna!” What happens next? It’s the end of the game. I’m told the world will be destroyed, and I see “Game Over” on my screen. I paid five dollars to rent this?! And there are people who pay  [ Read More ]


Fishing Incident

Posted by Link On January - 26 - 2011 Comments Off

I like to think I’m a pretty good fisherman. I caught the record-breaking fish at the local pond, and the owner is pretty good himself. That sounds like it says something. But even pros have mishaps sometimes, and this one almost makes me feel like I never had any idea what I was doing. See, the owner keeps the biggest fish ever caught (mine) in a tank on the front counter. I stood ready to cast, with my back to the counter. Somehow, I let the line go on the back-swing. The owner dodged it like a ninja, but it landed in that tank. If that wasn’t ridiculous enough, the fish took the bait. As a kind of reflex, I jerked on the rod trying to get it out of there. I set the hook by mistake. So now, here I was with my biggest fish ever hooked in a  [ Read More ]


Hating this!

Posted by DiddyKong On January - 19 - 2011 1 Comment

Okay, I’ve been at Donkey Kong Country Returns for a while now, and BOY! Am I mad! Don’t get me wrong, things started off just fine. DK and I were having a blast taking down anyone who got in our way. I had my Rocket Barrels and Peanut Popgun, so I was kind of running circles around him. Tried not to make him feel too bad. Then we got to the tough levels. It was getting kind of insane for both of us to navigate everything and still stay together, and DK was having trouble making it at all, so I hopped up on his back and used my Rocket Barrels to help him out. I felt… just plain useless up there! I went from buddy to backpack in an instant! I didn’t sign up for this just to be a spectator! I wanted to get in there and help!  [ Read More ]